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3 Questions for a happy life

by admin

Something to think about literally!

Ask yourself this:
1) How can Life get any better than it is at this moment? In regards to Relationship, Work, or any area that is important to you!
2) What are the possibilities of achieving these aspirations and more importantly will these indeed make you happy?
3) What would it take to meet these new goals? What healthy habits will I have to put in place to move into the position I see as making me happy?

 

Word Matter!

Words, words, words, words, its what you say, read, listen to and watch all create the environment you live.

Staying on the positive side is good for you not only mentally but medically proven to keep you healthy.
Take a good look at what media you pay attention to, what words you use and your inner monolog. Try to think and work with optimistic words so you can set your triggers to be configured to find the good in the world not the bad.
Pay attention to:

  • Your Self Talk
  • You’re Personal Vocabulary
  • The Media you Choose, i.e., TV, Radio, New, Videos
  • The Triggers you set

Shhhh Don’t Speak of your goals

by admin

Don’t tell people your goals, You Do Not Talk About Your Goals!

Quote/Theory: When other people take notice of one’s identity-relevant behavioral intentions, one’s performance of the intended behaviors is compromised. This effect occurs both when the intentions are experimenter supplied and when they are self-generated, and is observed in both immediate performance and performance measured over a period of 1 week. It does not emerge when people are not committed to the superordinate identity goal. Other people’s taking notice of one’s identity-relevant intentions apparently engenders a premature sense of completeness regarding the identity goal. Fishbein (1980) and Ajzen (1991) showed that the strength of a behavioral intention determines how well it is translated into behavior (Webb & Sheeran, 2006). Moreover, a substantial literature on moderators of intention-behavior relations (e.g., certainty, temporal stability) has developed (Cooke & Sheeran, 2004; Sheeran, 2002). Interestingly, however, previous research has not explored what psychological processes may intervene between the formation of a behavioral intention and its enactment. The present studies indicate that the simple matter of identity-relevant behavioral intentions becoming public undermines the realization of those intentions.
 http://www.dominican.edu/dominicannews/psychology-professors-goal-setting-research-cited


Book Quotes: Dr. Matthews, a professor in the Department of  Psychology in the School of Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences, recruited 267 participants from a wide variety of businesses, organizations, and networking groups throughout the United States and overseas for a study on how goal achievement in the workplace is influenced by writing goals, committing to goal-directed actions, and accountability for those actions.  Matthews found that more than 70 percent of the participants who sent weekly updates to a friend reported successful goal achievement (completely accomplished their goal or were more than half way there), compared to 35 percent of those who kept their goals to themselves, without writing them down.

http://www.psych.nyu.edu/gollwitzer/09_Gollwitzer_Sheeran_Seifert_Michalski_When_Intentions_.pdf

This guy makes a great point: https://collegeinfogeek.com/rule-1-about-your-goals-you-do-not-talk-about-your-goals/

 

Mindsets by Carol Dweck

Mindsets by Carol Dweck –Changed my life the book I ever read (listened to)

How many people feel that some people are born with a talent and that talent makes them different?
How many people feel that passion and effort can be someone’s success stories?

Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck in decades of research on achievement and success discovered a simple idea that makes all the difference. Your “Mindset”

There are 2 minds sets out there a Fixed or Talent mindset and a Growth mindset, We are going to learn to identify both of them so you can utilize them.

In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong.

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.

Here are some simple steps to get the idea and to start to make your mindset work for you.

Step1. Learn to hear your fixed mindset “voice.”
As you approach a challenge, that voice might say to you
“Are you sure you can do it? Maybe you don’t have the talent.”
“What if you fail—you’ll be a failure”
“People will laugh at you for thinking you had talent.”
“If you don’t try, you can protect yourself and keep your dignity.”

As you hit a setback, the voice might say,
“This would have been a snap if you really had talent.”
“You see, I told you it was a risk. Now you’ve gone and shown the world how limited you are.”
“It’s not too late to back out, make excuses, and try to regain your dignity.”

As you face criticism, you might hear yourself say,
“It’s not my fault. It was something or someone else’s fault.”
You might feel yourself getting angry at the person who is giving you feedback.
“Who do they think they are? I’ll put them in their place.”
The other person might be giving you specific, constructive feedback, but you might be hearing them say “I’m really disappointed in you. I thought you were capable but now I see you’re not.”

 Step 2. Recognize that you have a choice.
How you interpret challenges, setbacks, and criticism is your choice. You can interpret them in a fixed mindset as signs that your fixed talents or abilities are lacking. Or you can interpret them in a growth mindset as signs that you need to ramp up your strategies and effort, stretch yourself, and expand your abilities. It’s up to you.

So as you face challenges, setbacks, and criticism, listen to the fixed mindset voice and… talk back to it with a growth mindset voice.

As you approach a challenge:
THE FIXED-MINDSET says “Are you sure you can do it? Maybe you don’t have the talent.”
THE GROWTH-MINDSET answers, “I’m not sure I can do it now, but I think I can learn to with time and effort.”
FIXED MINDSET: “What if you fail—you’ll be a failure”
GROWTH MINDSET: “Most successful people had failures along the way.”
FIXED MINDSET: “If you don’t try, you can protect yourself and keep your dignity.”
GROWTH MINDSET: “If I don’t try, I automatically fail. Where’s the dignity in that?”

As you hit a setback:
FIXED MINDSET: “This would have been a snap if you really had talent.”
GROWTH MINDSET: “That is so wrong. Basketball wasn’t easy for Michael Jordan and science wasn’t easy for Thomas Edison. They had a passion and put in tons of effort.

As you face criticism:
FIXED MINDSET: “It’s not my fault. It was something or someone else’s fault.”
GROWTH MINDSET: “If I don’t take responsibility, I can’t fix it. Let me listen—however painful it is– and learn whatever I can.”

Step 3) Then…Take the growth mindset action.

Over time, which voice you head becomes pretty much your choice.
Whether you take on the challenge wholeheartedly, learn from your setbacks and try again,
Hearing the criticism and act on it is now in your hands.  Practice hearing both voices and practice acting on the growth mindset. See how you can make it work for you.

You can use a growth mindset in all aspects of your life.  So If you are ready to grow, get the book Mindsets by Carol Dweck.