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Why People come into our life.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person…

“When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.”Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.”LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”— Unknown

Shhhh Don’t Speak of your goals

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Don’t tell people your goals, You Do Not Talk About Your Goals!

Quote/Theory: When other people take notice of one’s identity-relevant behavioral intentions, one’s performance of the intended behaviors is compromised. This effect occurs both when the intentions are experimenter supplied and when they are self-generated, and is observed in both immediate performance and performance measured over a period of 1 week. It does not emerge when people are not committed to the superordinate identity goal. Other people’s taking notice of one’s identity-relevant intentions apparently engenders a premature sense of completeness regarding the identity goal. Fishbein (1980) and Ajzen (1991) showed that the strength of a behavioral intention determines how well it is translated into behavior (Webb & Sheeran, 2006). Moreover, a substantial literature on moderators of intention-behavior relations (e.g., certainty, temporal stability) has developed (Cooke & Sheeran, 2004; Sheeran, 2002). Interestingly, however, previous research has not explored what psychological processes may intervene between the formation of a behavioral intention and its enactment. The present studies indicate that the simple matter of identity-relevant behavioral intentions becoming public undermines the realization of those intentions.
 http://www.dominican.edu/dominicannews/psychology-professors-goal-setting-research-cited


Book Quotes: Dr. Matthews, a professor in the Department of  Psychology in the School of Arts, Humanities and Social Sciences, recruited 267 participants from a wide variety of businesses, organizations, and networking groups throughout the United States and overseas for a study on how goal achievement in the workplace is influenced by writing goals, committing to goal-directed actions, and accountability for those actions.  Matthews found that more than 70 percent of the participants who sent weekly updates to a friend reported successful goal achievement (completely accomplished their goal or were more than half way there), compared to 35 percent of those who kept their goals to themselves, without writing them down.

http://www.psych.nyu.edu/gollwitzer/09_Gollwitzer_Sheeran_Seifert_Michalski_When_Intentions_.pdf

This guy makes a great point: https://collegeinfogeek.com/rule-1-about-your-goals-you-do-not-talk-about-your-goals/

 

Fear in a Hat

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Fear in a Hat
(Intence improv but really useful)
Collect participants “fears” in a hat, tin or bag. Set an appropriate tone, e.g., settled, attentive, caring and serious.
The tone could be set by introducing the topic of fear and explaining how it is normal and natural at this stage of improv exercise that people are experiencing all sorts of anxieties, worries, and fears about what might happen. A good way of starting to deal with these fears is to have them openly acknowledged – lay them on the table, without being subject to ridicule. Having one’s fears expressed and heard almost immediately cuts them in half.

Can be done as the first activity in a program, during the initial stages or well into the program. When used early on in particular, it can help to foster group support and be helpful for alerting the group to issues they may want to respect in a Full Value Contract.

Ask everyone, including the group leaders, to complete this sentence on a piece of paper (anonymously):
“In this trip/group/program, I am [most] afraid that…” or “In this trip/group/program, the worst thing that could happen to me would be…”

Collect the pieces of paper, mix them around, then invite each person to a piece of paper and read about someone’s fear.
One by one, each group member reads out the fear of another group member and elaborates and what he/she feels that person is most afraid of in this group/situation. No one is to comment on what the person says, just listen and move on to the next person.
If the reader doesn’t elaborate much on the fear, then ask them one or two questions. Avoid implying or showing your opinion as to the fear being expressed, unless the person is disrespecting or completely misunderstanding someone’s fear. If the person doesn’t elaborate after one or two questions, leave it and move on.

When all the fears have been read out and elaborated on, then discuss what people felt and noticed.
Can lead into other activities, such as developing a Full Group Contract, personal or team goal settings, course briefings which specifically tackle some of the issues raised, or into other activities in which participants explore their feelings and fears (e.g., see the
Fear in a Hat description at www.nurturingpotential.net)
Variations
Likes and dislikes – in two separate hats
Worries
Complaints/gripes
Wishes
Favorite moments

Equipment:
Paper and pen/pencil per participant; Hat, tin or bag.

Time:
~5 minutes + 1-2 minutes per participant, e.g., 15-20 minutes for a group of 10.

Brief description:
People write personal fears anonymously on pieces of paper which are collected.  Then each person reads someone else’s fear to group and explains how the person might feel.

Links to other versions:

Mirror Image

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Mirror Image
This activity involves people in pairs, with one person mirroring the actions and movements of the other person.
Body movement exercises can be most revealing, confronting and rewarding. “Human sculpting via mirroring” brings body movement exploration into the dyad. By reflecting body movements of another, several subtle but complex processes are activated, heightening self- and other-awareness. Immediate non-verbal feedback exercises in the right time and place have the potential to be transformational. Other times this can simply be a fun loosen-upper.
Works with any size group; split into pairs/couples.
Although it is simple, the activity can be confronting and requires experienced leadership and a well chosen moment/sequence/program.
Usually, make sure the social ice is well and truly broken, and that there have been other body movement and physical warmup/stretching exercises, with some laughter and some seriousness.
Offer a demonstration. Invite a volunteer to stand facing you about half a meter apart. The instructor initiates action, with the other person following in “mirror image”.
Make your movements engaging and slow enough for the other person to mime as if they were a full-length mirror.
Also include zany stretches/contortions to get a few laughs, especially facial gymnastics. Include action sequences for tasks like brushing your teeth. The demonstration helps to loosen up conceptions and inhibitions.
In pairs, one person stretches, the other follows. Then swap after some time.
Debrief as you see fit.

Notes
Variation: Reverse-mirror image. Try following partner’s movements in reverse-mirror image (i.e., swap left <-> right)
The exercise can be done in different ways to emphasize difference aspects, e.g., for trust-building, drama warmup, ice breaker, etc.
Related Activities
Finger Dancing
Kirtans (calling – response chanting)
Walking in Sync

Equipment

  • No equipment needed, just a place where people can spread out.

Time

  • Total ~ 10-15 minutes.

Brief description

  • Involves people in pairs, with one person mirroring the actions of the other.  Stimulates self- and other-awareness.

Acknowledgements

My homework for a creative leadership class

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This painting I created as a final project for my favorite Masters Class in Creative Leadership and Problem Solving: I use symbols to describe my leadership style. I went all out abstract! This explanation comes with it.

This painting is using symbolism for theories and how I combine visionary leadership, with Flow, Divergent thinking, and Foresight.
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To begin with, the Foresight Preferences to show that I am a leader that want to help my followers find out who they are and how to use their skills to the best of their ability.
Those are the four symbols with myself in the middle. Classifier, Indicator, (Leader) Developer, and the Implementer

The symbolical thought bubble which we all share is my “Vision.”
I would like to think of myself as a visionary leader with a visionary thinking style in.


The image is also showing that not only am I sharing my vision with the followers but I am fostering them to feel as if they are a part of the Vision.
If they feel they have a role in achieving the vision, this will help foster an environment for “Flow.”

The culture of the staff is based on flow as the reward and goal. That is the intertwined energy sources “Flowing.” The environment would need to be able to support the Flow environment.

Our culture is to make working fun and creative, this will drive you, motivation and skill being stretched in a supportive environment is the recipe for success, and this is accomplished with the use of divergent and convergent problem-solving.

The two circles with the smaller colored waves is a visualization for Divergent thinking and the collection of mass ideas and filtering through the Convergent circle to get to the most Novel solution.

Creating flow through employees knowing their skills and stretching them to achieve more of the feeling of flow and achievement.